Changes.

        Hello, it’s been a long time since I last posted something here, specially because the last thing I posted did not feel very authentic to me. I feel like I should say sorry, but the truth is I am not sorry for doing it, because I know I would and will do it again whenever I have similar circumstances.

You might have already noticed I am not exactly talking about my last post, but actually just that I am acting a little distant from the people I was supposed to like. The problem is that I am going through so many changes right now and I don't feel like I fit in with “my” group of friends. Recently I have been having a really hard time finding things in common with basically anybody.

My parents keep telling that is because I’m just a teenager and that it’s normal and that everyone feels this way, the problem is I am not like everyone else and I think too much and I am always at least ten times more intense than anybody else.

At this exact moment changes by black sabbath has just started playing and I have never heard this song before but it has really spoken to me. I am not feeling like this everywhere, I have a new group of friends, just not those people, they don’t feel like the same people they once felt like, I don’t feel how I used to feel about anything really.

I know that my life has basically just turned into a whole project for tests and study routines but how come I can still have a social life, just not with those people. I always say how beautiful I find the whole process of changing throughout life and how people who were once very similar might feel like polar opposites now.

That sort of keeps me from getting scared of how much my life has changed this past month and I must say it was not positive, but it definitely wasn’t negative either, it was just different and I still don’t know if I like it or not, I am just trying to adapt myself, by thinking and reflecting about it a bit too much as always.

I’m afraid I might lose these friendships forever, but I don’t feel like doing much more for getting them back at all. I just wanted everyone to feel like me so they would understand that it truly is not them, it’s just me.