I Need A Break

Recently, my social life has been on the edge, there has not been a single day from Friday to Sunday when I did not go out. It sounds cool right? staying out late and going back home just so you can repeat it tomorrow. Well. it isn’t that cool when you do it too much and everyone’s having a break while you’re seeing this and that friend, all at once. They can’t know you haven't had a day for yourself in weeks because you were out with someone else so you just keep going out.

The problem with that is that, because I am the only one who cares about keeping all my friendships, my friends have gotten best friends and I’m just hanging with everyone, not having a best friend. If I were to get married tomorrow, I’d either have a hundred maids of honor or none.

Thanks to that, I can’t stop going out because then they will realize how meaningless my presence is in their lives but I just keep on going out and everything is fine until they have something to tell each other or whatever and I’m not that special because I’m not exclusive so I’ll feel anxious and it will all come back and last time this happened I spent a year with literally no friends at all.

Today, our school is throwing a party, I hope everything will turn out alright, I want to go, to see them and try to work things out, but I still need a break from this hell of a social life. Not going out is horrible but going out too much can be just as awful.