I Cannot Unlove You.

I saw you and I liked you, just like that. One second, one look and I was in love. That lasted two years, this little silly thing I had for you, but then I heard you and talked to you and then it was so obvious that I was truly in love with you, but so was she.

I tried really hard not fall and, when already down, I tried to climb back up so much my legs broke from falling back down so many times. She’s my best friend - it feels like I’m just copying the same thing I wrote last year, but now she’s a leo and you’re an aries - and I cannot do this to her. But the problem in this whole ball os screwed up things that seem to be created just to make sure I am not entirely happy is that I cannot unlove you. Maybe I could a couple of weeks ago, but now I can’t and I just don’t know what to do, because no one could ever find out about this and she’s really been suspicious about the way I act when you’re not around

The thing is: you’re really hot, but you’re not even that nice, you are sexist, stupid, hugely homophobic and judgemental (and so am I after writing all this). And I still can’t stop thinking about you and how nice it would be if we were together and you kept teasing me like you already do. 

You get mad every time I talk about a boy, any boy, but still you keep on telling me to shut up and now you’re ignoring the redheaded thing and please draw my mom something nice, because she really likes it. I want to kiss you every time you give me that little smirk you always do and when you look at me and just say something ridiculous like “suck my dick right here right now” but I also want to punch your big red lips and cute little eyes and oh my goodness your collarbones.

I guess that, in the end, the point of this whole thing is to just tell someone, maybe (probably) no one, how much you’ve changed me, my jokes are weirder, I can only curse, I think about getting drunk with you all the time and all the weed we could smoke together. I would just love if I could unlove you.