Love Resolution.

All my life, I’ve been that girl who likes to take care of people and not worry anyone. I don’t know why, my parents love me, my family’s great, I just don’t want to bother, but love to be bothered. That has lead to a great depression in my love life, since I just try my best to focus on more “important” things such as university, studies and my loved one’s well-being.

Having said that, I believe it is easy to say that I am one of those people who are always finding a way to hide their feelings and just run away from any risk of taking a risk. I’m not saying that’s a good thing or advisable to anyone, believe me, sometimes it’s hard to hide how much you’re hurt or how much you don’t feel like helping your mother wash the dishes.

That has lead me to having a very hard time dating people, which has not happened yet, and not because of lack of opportunity, and expressing my feelings in general. Usually, when you're at the age of having a first boyfriend and stuff, you flirt with who you like so they know what you want, but I cannot do that. I just can’t, I am just always afraid of them knowing how I feel and where it might go from there - there's no easy way, you either have that awkward “are we dating or not” situation or you just become afraid they’ll make fun of you for liking them so much.

I was fine with not having a love life until I realised that this is my last year in high school and, sorry to be so shallow, but the last year to lose my virginity and that scared the hell out of me. What if I don’t do it until I get a very stable boyfriend, how am I gonna get a boyfriend being the only virgin in university?

That whole thing made me decide that this year, I’ll have two major resolutions: I) Pass in a good, public university (they’re the best in Brazil) and II) Find someone very nice and do it, maybe just find someone, but doing it would be great too.