nostalgia

Sometimes I like the feeling of nostalgia and I guess that’s why I chose to write this in English. 

Eating Chinese food, listening to Hozier, writing about a crush who is extremely unclear when showing any signs of affection. I guess this is all a bit nostalgic really. As if I were chasing the youth that slipped through my fingers when I kissed the wrong member of the group.

It’s like I’m obsessed with the UK all over again, I’m listening to the same songs, I’m talking about the same TV shows - or at least the same genre - and I’m falling into the same unfortunate patterns as before. 

This is all about nostalgia I guess. Yet you don’t look anything like you used to and neither do I, even though I have almost the exact same haircut. Main difference now is that I can tell this won’t take me anywhere. Did you know even my therapist thinks I’m missing your signals? 

Back to the TV shows. I used to love this one show called “my mad fat diary”, about a fat girl and her friends. There is something weird happening to the universe where I think everyone is listening to Oasis again. So, in this show, there’s this guy who looks like he hates everyone, but he is really cute so everyone keeps talking to him. The fat girl - the main character - starts getting closer to this bad boy type and ends up falling in love - which we know is inevitable. 

She keeps missing all of his signals because, after all, who would like a fat girl, when he finally makes an obvious mood. Their relationship doesn’t last, she’s too insecure to be with a guy whose beauty is so obvious. 

I keep thinking about that show and I keep thinking about you. Some things did change. I’m not insecure anymore and I don’t think that’s why I keep missing your signals. If I kissed you that night, would you kiss me back or would you think I'm crazy? My therapist thinks we won’t make it past our movie date without knowing for sure, I hope she’s right.

This is by far the most stupid thing ever written by an almost 25 year old. But then again, a bit of nostalgia is always fun.